Noobies VÜ

So I find myself wanting to write Something, Anything, just to write it, but I am at a loss. I have even gone on blogs that I hate in the hopes that some ass-hat will rile me up enough to write about it. Well I succeeded in the first part but not the second. I realized that for most to understand what I was railing against I would have to provide a link to the offending site thereby improving their traffic and giving them more readers than they deserve. ain't gonna do it.
So now I sit here wishing I had something really witty to say and share that would give people a chuckle or at least a couple minutes of distraction at work. Epic fail thus far. Sorry.

I do have one thing that is sticking in my craw this otherwise fine day. I don't usually like to go too personal in my blog, I don't know how much I want to put out there at this time. But this is really irking me.

My mother and I have been having some difficulties for the last year or so. Normally I would say it was nothing big, because it really isn't or at least shouldn't be. But unfortunately it has been escalated to epic scales. To the point in fact that my mother never calls me, though she gets offended that I don't call her often enough. She claims nothing is wrong but apparently it is. Case in point: she moved 300 miles away. She didn't tell me. She told my brother, but left me in the dark. I am happy she did because she is closer to the docs and other family. But therein lies the rub. All of our issues are directly related to our relatives, my cousin who lives with her specifically. I will not go into the details of it. Those of you who know me know the story and I don't need to go over it again. Those of you who don't, well I just don't want to dredge it up here. Suffice it to say things happened and instead of owning and accepting it they elected to blame me and go so far as to say I set the whole thing up. whatever.

So anyhoo, this brings us to today. My cousin is so bitter over everything that instead of informing me that my mother is in the hospital (something she did immediately the last time it happened a couple of years ago) she just called my sister-in-law who kindly called and notified me. My brother even asked her, "have you let Mike know?"
Her reply, "oh I couldn't the doctor came in and I had to shut off my phone."
"How about you give him a call now and let him know everything is ok?"
"Oh I can't she's mad that i told you guys and I have to go in and talk to the doctors about what they are going to do."

What. the. fuck.

What happens if she kicks it? My cousin knows exactly how it feels to not be told that her mother died because it happened to her. No one told her until AFTER the funeral. What does that mean? What caused her siblings to leave her in the dark?
I know why she is pissed at me and it's her own issue. But for her to be so petty and not let me know that something is wrong with my own mother is fucked up in the extreme. Bullshit reasons are bullshit reasons.

Will my mother call me today when she gets home (if she gets home today)? My guess is probably not. I do hope I am wrong though. I have always been the type to forgive and forget but this is so untenable that I don't know what I am going to do at this point. In all likelihood there isn't a damn thing I can do. When I do talk to her it's like conversing with a politician. When we talk all is well, she is fine she misses me. She goes as far as she can without actually engaging. She never invites me up to see her nor does she really say anything substantial. Something tells me that when I am off the phone she forgets all about the conversation and resumes dogging me with my cousin.

It's wonderful what can I say? Oh I know,

to my cousin: I hope you die in a flaming shit-storm

to my mom: I love you and I hope you'll be okay, I'm not ready for goodbye.