Noobies VÜ

So after mucho consideration and tonz o' comments about how pale I am (imagine the lead character in Powder and then make him pale- I prefer the term "corpse chic") I decided to take a proactive step in getting a little sun. unfortunately I didn't think about how hot it is here and how quickly I would burn. Sigh. I don't have a before or after, but here's how I looked during...



I think when I heal back up I'll just keep on keepin on with either the Casper glow or maybe try for a sunkist kiss of lé "spray-on-tan".
We shall see.

Tragically I am still fighting with the lift on my jeep. sniff
I get irritated when I purchase something and I am told that "everything you need is in that kit" only to find out that, the hell it is.
Do I dare tally this shit all up?
$1300 for the lift-- this was not the cheapest lift but far from the most expensive. Remember too, this was "Everything I need"
So now onto what else I apparently have to get to make the kit that had "everything I need" work so that my Jeep doesn't vibrate or try to toss me out of it when it hits a bump.
Adjustable front track bar $250
Adjustable rear track bar $200
Drop pitman arm $70-80
Drag link (maybe) $200
Slip Yoke Eliminator and CV drive shaft with installation $1100
Adjustable upper rear control arms to go with SYE $250
Hat to cover the bald spots on my head from me pulling out my hair $25
Seriously, had I known I would have had to go through all this... I likely would still have done it, but I would really have thought about it more! And been less surprised.
For those of you who think I didn't research this shit before jumping in, kiss my ass, you know who you are. I am one of those that goes over decisions like this for weeks if not months. I have been contemplating lifting my jeep ever since I got it and have been looking at what it takes to do it. I have visited forums and blogs and websites dedicated to it, I talked to the guy I ordered from multiple times, I was assured that this kit would do it. I can't blame him too much though. I noticed in the catalog (I ordered online and on the phone) that there are the lovely superscript numbers and of course they tell me that I "might" need the other stuff I am now getting. Sad for me, the site didn't include the same notes. My fault, I own it.
Beyond random issues people have this looked pretty straight forward. But of course, as usual, I had to get the one that wanted to be a pain in the ass. Damn Prima Donna. lol still loves me jeep though.
So a $1300 lift is going to cost much closer to $4000. Oh well, not much I can do about it now. I can keep it like it is and drive an unsafe jeep or fix it. Guess I'll fix it.

Maybe next time I'll just do it this way

You know it's true, sometimes at work you just need a little levity. Found this little gem through WWdN (Wil Wheaton in Exile). This is just such good stuff. I really like the Redrum Cat the best, though the one below it is pretty outstanding as well. And it is possible that the lower one will induce the most tears from laughter, but it's less the cat and more the dog on that one.

So my good friend Jason (whom you've seen me mention before in this fancy thing I call a blog) works for a major rental company, I won't type their name but it rhymes with Shertz, and I sometimes tag along when he has to swap out cars. Let me tell you pretties, people are pigs.
WHAT THE F**K is it with people that they think that since they don't own something they don't have to take care of it?
This I see is true in many arenas of public consumption. Those of you familiar with my blog might have read my posting on guys who leave poop behind in public toilets so that everyone can bask in the glow of their rectal effluence. I am of a mind that people who rent cars and hotels rooms and trash them are the very same people who smear things on bathroom walls and leave "presents" behind. Mens and Womens.
But really, I went with Jason and we got in one minivan that needed a little work done on it and went down to Vegas to trade it for another one. Well the first MV was bad enough. It smelled funky and there was food stashed around in it. when I say funky, I mean like spoiled milk. I don't know if Mommy Minivan was nursing or what but, danggg. So we suffered through that little trip. I will admit I complained the whole way down. I am just completely baffled by how people can be so slovenly and lazy.
I worked as a maid a couple of summers and (yes, it's true and as gay as it might be, I was a fast ho-mo-fo when it came to making beds: less than a 2 minutes bitches! hootie hoo) the worst rooms were not the ones that a bunch of teeneagers threw a raging party in (okay they were but it was close) it was mostly families that made the biggest messes. This is not to say ALL families are like that. This is not a, families make messes therefore all messes are made by families, sense of logic. I can understand that mom has to pick up after the kids 24/7 at home and they deserve a break too. But that doesn't give a person carte blanche to be a pig.
So back to the MV. I thought the first one was bad, it was nothing compared to the second. The only saving grace from the second was that it didn't smell as funky. This is from their website; in a Toyota Sienna there are a total of 14 drink holders: 10 labled as Cup Holders 4 labled as Bottle Holders Every time I am in a minivan with that many holders I am astounded that they would ever be a need for all of them. Guess what, this mini-van filled all of them and then some. We cleaned out the MV before we left because we couldn't even get in! There were 3 on the floor in front of the front passenger seat alone. When we cleaned it out we counted 27 bottles and to-go cups. 27! We then found 3 more when we were folding down the seats!
There were bags full of food; chips, cereal, granola bars. Old take-out containers with goo running out of the sides and just random gross crap. Foot prints up on the passenger side of the dashboard , the type that doesn't just leave footprints but scuffs and tears in the covering that doesn't buff out. (this is a pet peeve of mine- seriously, someone explain this to me. Is this a hold over of having their feet up in stirrups for gyno exams and child birth that women feel this need to put their feet up on the dash board of any car they get into? I'm not trying to be misogynistic but in my experience it has always been someone of the female persuasion that does this. Ask around, it doesn't take but a toe to hit my dash before I am pulling out my keister stashed shiv and shanking a chick if she tries to put her feet on my dash.)
I was informed by jason that this is a common sight. I just don't get it. Maybe I am paranoid, but I always clean the hotel room before I leave, yes I make the bed, and I always clean out cars I rent as well. I guess it's because I always assumed that somewhere someone was standing with a clipboard and clucking and tutting over every little bit of dirt or scuff I left behind.
Perhaps it was all for naught and I could have just tore some shit up with equanimity.
I don't know that I will ever shake this feeling that the same people that trash hotel rooms and rental cars share DNA with poop leavers and people who scream and carry on in Wal-Mart at the service desk when they return an item they bought at Stein-Mart. Flush it, clean it, take it back where you got it, this world is not just yours to treat as a cesspool of your disregard.
Show some respect. You might be surprised to see it returned. But I know that those of you that do this will likely never read this blog and if you do you will either assume I am talking about "other people" or you simply won't give a shit.

Thanks so much for reminding us of this marvelous actor's birthday. Patrick Stewart is fabulous and nothing makes me laugh more than when he says inappropriate things on Family Guy!

I found this mash-up on WWdN- (Wil Wheaten in Exile- pronounce haWill haWeat-in)

Well it's done. Mostly.
I'll tell ya, that was not the easiest bit of wrenching I've ever done. More than once I had to lift myself off of the floor and go chase after a wrench I threw out of frustration. Can I say with any confidence that I'll never attempt such a job again? No. In the end it was sort of fun, if exasperating, but I always like be able to say, "I did it myself." Oh and I'm cheap- saved
$400 I did. So far anyway, as long as nothing has to be fixed cuz I screwed it up. lol.
I think that Jared, as much as he acts like he supports me, kept waiting, maybe hoping, to see my Jeep fall on me. That bastard is always trying to knock me off, for one he could have the house to himself and secondly, he's just trying to get himself higher on the Q-list. Yes, it is true I am higher up, but he just needs to learn to cope. Let's face it though, it gives everyone a little giggle to watch someone fail. (hence all the websites dedicated to it) Especially if it's on an epic scale. And having one's chest crushed by a disc brake can be counted as epic I think.
Fortunately, I have avoided the ignominy of having my Jeep destroy me. yay.
Mucho thanks to Jason for all his help. Total lifesaver that one is.
After getting the lift and tires on we went for a spin and promptly turned right back around after experiencing the "death wobble". That's some scary stuff kiddies!
Dropped it off at Big-O on Tuesday and all seems well though I do have somewhat of a slight vibration going. Trying to sort that one out now.
All in all I am quite happy with the experience and the outcome. Let me know what you all think.

Before

After: note the top of the garage

Sorry about the lighting I will get a better picture later. Now he needs a paint job!

Tonight's the night kiddies!
I's gonna be jacking Noobs up and ripping off old parts and affixing new ones!
Noobie's been feeling self-conscious about his lack of height, so at great expense I have got him a set of lifts that I'll be stuffing in his shoes this weekend. Then he'll be able to prance around and strut with the big boys. Well, maybe not the BIG boys (some of the guys in this town have lifted their Jeeps and trucks to a ridiculous height-- what good is a garage if you tear the roof off your pickup the first time you pull in?) but some of the smaller big ones anyway.
I am a little leery about doing the actual wrenching but I never shy away from a challenge.
So in a bit over 10 hours I'll be putting him on some jackstands and crawling under him. Hopefully 15 minutes later he won't slip off and crush me beneath him like a bug. Cuz that would kinda suck.

So last night after getting in from Vegas and getting my fabu parts I couldn't wait and decided to install my Edge Trail-Jammer.
I had a moment of concern on the way home after climbing into the back of the mini-van over my tires because I couldn't wait and wanted to at least look at my goodies- with Jason being ever so helpful weaving back and forth to make my already precarious trek even more so- I grabbed a couple boxes and made my way back and noticed one said something about being compatible with 2003-2004 models. I have a 1998. I called 4WD Hardware and spoke with Dan who felt it was all good; the part numbers were right etc.
I got home and pulled off my throttle body and intake and slapped the new one on. Went for a spin, AWESOME! A little noisy perhaps, it really sucks the air in now, and you can definitely feel a power improvement.
Went to put the power module on and guess what, yes, wrong part; the harness wouldn't match. GAH! That would be the difference between the 97-02 and the 03-04. So I will have to wait to see what that part of the kit does for me. Oh well. I'll have to call Dan again in the morning. At least I can still drive it.

edit. talked to Dan. no worries as soon as I can get to Vegas again he can just swap me out. whew. I thought I'd have to take the whole thing off again.

So my good buddy Jason and I made a trip to Las Vegas today to go and pick up my parts for Noobie. Have I mentioned how excited I am about lifting him? hootie hoo!
So, anyhoo, Jason is a lifesaver as that I had originally hoped to get these parts a couple weeks ago with my other good friend Carie. I decided to order from 4WD Hardware and just pick it them up in Vegas instead of shipping them to my house. Sure they had free ground shipping (that always seems to take the same amount of time that it would if I walked to their warehouse in L.A.) but there was also an extra fee of $25 just because me stuff was good sized. So I figured why, I will save money by going down with Carie, who was going down anyway and she had a pickup, but alas, that was not meant to be since they didn't have the parts in the local warehouse. I went down with Carie still to visit friends but returned empty handed. sad.
There went my money and time saving strategy. But friend Jason came to the rescue! His job has him driving to Vegas almost every day so I hitched a ride and off we went.
All went well until we were headed to the store.
"It's on Durango, we can just leap off the 215 and it's a few blocks away."
After leaping off and driving much more than a few blocks I started to get concerned.
"I swear to god we should have seen it by now."
"Are you sure we're on the right road?"
How dare he question me?! of course we we're. I glanced at the address, 4740. I look at the road sign at the intersection of Durango and Flamingo, 4100.
"it's just up another couple of blocks. There's a Home Depot on the right and it is right past it."
Drive, Drive, Drive. No Home Depot. WTF?
I look at the next intersection 2100. 2100! Oh shit we missed it!
"Uh Jason, I don't know how I missed it but we passed it."
"Seriously?"
"yeah, sorry man."
Turned around and headed back. Again he has the nerve to ask me, "is this the right road?"
"Yes." I say calmly through gritted teeth. Jesus how can he doubt me like that? I have been reading for a long time now. sheesh.
Went through Flamingo then Tropicana, WTF now we're past where it should have been!
I look at the paper, "Seriously, what the hell, it's right here 4740 s Duran-catur, uhm, yah, Decatur." Son. of. a. bitch.
"What'd you say? Did I just hear Durangatur?"
"Maybe, Shut up!"
Yes, children, I took him down the wrong street. Curses! I hate being wrong. Fortunately Jason is the forgiving type and he only mentioned oh, all the way home.
"I can't believe we spent 20 minutes on the wrong road.
"Wow, up and down the wrong road--'it's on Durango I know it.
"Damn we could have been stuck in traffic heading home 40 minutes ago if we had been on the right road.
"Dang I can't stop eating these Durango chips!"
"Shut up man that doesn't even make sense!"

So after all that, we got to 4WD Hardware- just past Home Depot, at least I had that part right, and picked up my parts. Wheels are sooo nice. But guess what, missing shocks. GAH. But the guy promises to have them shipped to me by Friday. We shall see.
So for the next 2 days I will be wanting to put them on and can't cuz I will be working. Oh well.