The "oh so wise" Jared of Spin Off raised an excellent point today, the offense of people who marinate in their cologne but seem blissfully unaware that it might smell less offensive than their poop and/or b.o. but is still offensive just the same.
But, the real question on my mind, (raised because we have a couple of offenders here) is what about those that stink, but not of any man-made stink-pretty that they delightfully douse themselves with like it's essence of "come get me", but with straight up ass stench?
I mean, sure your eyes water and maybe you sneeze a few times. But come on! That's a tiptoe through the tulips of olfactory heaven compared to people that simply do not bathe or wash their clothes/socks/body/hair who seem intent upon assaulting our delicate noses with their fragrant noxiousness.
Could it be that some people are just unaware of it? Or are we just manufacturing excuses for them to make ourselves feel better about the fact that we are sissies and afraid to point out their hygienic failures?
Also, why is it that the people this type of comment is aimed for always falls on deaf ears? I had an associate who reeked, but I could think of no tactful way to bring it to her attention. So I just mentioned it in a meeting and blamed a "customer complaint" for the issue being raised. I mentioned no names and pointed no fingers. I should have! The person in question was completely oblivious. Instead, another girl piped up (mind you, someone that NO ONE had complained about) and said it was probably her because she, "had a fungus that the doctor gave her medication for that smells really bad and she got it cuz she didn't bathe enough." *big eyes! OMG really? and it wasn't even about her!
The other girl *ahem Justine just nodded and continued to come to work smelling like (insert some famous sports dude of which I have no idea) after a six hour (insert practice/game/ whatever the hell it is that famous sports dude of which I have no idea would be doing that would make him smell) and a lengthy roll in dog shit (just for good measure).
So take note people. Sniff your underarms, check your feet, and for god's sake look around you, if people are breathing shallowly it's probably you! Don't let yourself be forever referred to in hush tones and covered noses as, "That (insert offending person's name here)" because you are only referred to as "That (person)" for negative reasons. Unless of course it is followed by, "is a funny bastard". as in, "that Mike is a funny bastard." Then it's all good. or so I am told.
*sniff-sniff
yeah, I think I'm okay.
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Hello dear reader(s?)
Yes, I have been away yet again. Sigh. I really do mean to keep up on this blogging thing, but I am abysmally lazy and so... well, that's how it goes.
But perhaps today I shall be prompted to take up the keyboard again and actually write something here. But what to write? It seems I am most successful when I am complaining and bitching about something, but then, that's a whole lot of negativity, no?
So, maybe I should try something positive... hmm... I'm thinking! hmm... welllll, oh I know!
This past weekend was kind of fun, it rained on Saturday (yay(!) but boo(!) since I want rain but not on days I don't work sheesh) so I was not able to get out into the yard to do some much needed weeding, at least not until late in the day. At around 5-6 I finally got to go out and try to wrest a couple of the biggest weeds out of the ground. Holy god, those things seriously did not want to move! But I prevailed, and managed to pull a few out, but got soaked in the process as that they were still quite wet.
The best part of the weekend was Sunday as that it was bright and clear and my lovely roommates volunteered their time and helped me weed! Corey dug out all the lava rock from one of the planters and Connie helped me weed the rest of the yard. A couple of hours and a couple stiff backs, legs, and necks, we were mostly done and the yard, though still not fabulous looking, looked so much better! Thanks friends! (unfortunately I do not have image goodness. We didn't think to take pics until AFTER we were done. sigh)
Next up, TREES!
This weekend I have plans to plant at least 2 (maybe more) trees. I have it narrowed down to these 3 varieties.
The above is called the "Chaste" tree. LOVE IT. It blooms all summer long.
Info about the Chaste Tree from grumpygardener.southernliving.com
"Native to southern Europe and central Asia, chaste tree quickly grows into a multi-trunked tree about 10 to 20 feet tall and wide with a broad, spreading habit. It gets its name from the erroneous medieval belief that a potion made from it could curb the libido. In reality, wearing a house dress with orthopedic shoes and multiple nose piercings is much more effective.
That doesn't mean that chaste tree doesn't have its pharmacological uses. An extract made from Vitex supposedly does a very good job of controlling PMS. Which means any of you guys out there who are routinely beaten every 28 days should definitely plant one in the yard."
I think I love the Grumpy Gardener.
The other tree I want is
The Mountain Laurel! It smells like grape soda! And is toxic! My plan of ridding my neighborhood of small obnoxious children who love grape soda is approaching fruition! muahahahahahahahaAnd lastly...
The Eastern Redbud. Yes it's true, as you can see I really like flowering trees. I think they will make a nice impact against the bland backdrop that is my house. good stuff!
Tell me what you think, which trees should I get first? The redbud is slow growing so it'll take a little time, but the chaste grows relatively fast. I will also be getting some Italian Cypresses to form a border and hopefully put a bit of shade on the house from the west.
We'll see. Can't wait for Saturday, though the digging will suck. sigh.