Noobies VÜ

So. I am starting to see a troubling trend crop up all over the place. In areas that it really has no business being. The trend? Tip Jars. WTF?
When I go to a restaurant where I am served and brought water/drinks- what have you, I can understand the need to tip. And I do so, quite handsomely. I ate at the Egg and I a couple of weeks ago, (thanks Kyle and Corey) and though I had eaten already that morning, I got a li'l sumthin sumthin. My bill was $2 and change. I tipped $3. Why? Because the gal was a riot and gave awesome service. I, for one, have no problem rewarding great service. Isn't that what a tip is all about?
It bothers the hell out of me that some restaurants pool all the tips into one collective pot and then divy them up "equally". I cry "BULLSHIT!" I have been to some of these places where you get horrible service from one server fat dude at red robin and other servers bust their asses to help you and keep your glass full and make sure everything is well. While others act like you are an inconvenience. This is your job people. Maybe if you looked happy about it, you would find yourself getting some decent tips. Even horrible servers fat dude at red robin will get a tip from me, rarely less than 10%. But most of the time I am closer to 20-25%, and as you can see from the Egg and I, sometimes over 100% (let's face it, had it been a $10 meal, the tip likely wouldn't have changed much though. I guess I'm more of a flat rate type of person.) anyhoo
The thing that bugs is places like a Benja's (love this place, don't get me wrong) and of course Subway, and Starbucks, where they have tip jars at the counter. TIP JARS! What the fuck?
Let me get this straight, I purchase a drink, or meal from you and pick it up to leave, thereby leaving you with nothing to do but to make my drink/meal and move on. I don't take up any of your time with niceties or the need to top off my drink. You made my drink and/or meal and handed it to me and I walked out the door. Why am I expected to tip that? Isn't that the idea behind your job? To make my drink/sandwich/dinner so that I may take it home and drink/eat it there?
Actually I can get it, maybe you figure, "well, I packaged the shit out of your drunken noodle, so that deserves a reward, AND I did have to carry it from the kitchen and leave it at the counter." OR maybe, "I barista'd the hell out of that drink I deserve a reward for a job well done." OR, "Did you see how I slapped that meat into your sandwich with such flair that I only got it partially wadded up and that you only had to ask 3 times for me to put mustard on it? I deserve compensation for that." Yes, you do, it's called a paycheck.
I am seeing these damn things everywhere now: take out restaurants, icee shacks, coffee houses (one of my faves originally instituted a no tip jar policy and was vocal about it, guess what made an appearance a few weeks ago...), sandwich shops, pizza joints, fast-food places, the list goes on. Of course all of these tip jars are also at the point of sale. Pretty much calling out, throw that spare change of yours in this handy little cup that we scribbled "tipps"[sic] on and show your appreciation for a job well done. This is at the point of sale, have I even partaken of my order yet? Ask Jared and he'll tell you 9 times out of 10 his shit gets screwed up. And, since we rarely stand at the counter and sample what was made, we usually don't know if it's any good until we're either at home or a few minutes down the road.
Sure, sure, sure, "you are rewarding past experiences". Well, since you fucked up my drink 9 times out of 10 I think I should be able to reward myself for continuing to give you a chance by taking some of the money out of said tip jar. But I don't.
I am also quite aware that most chains frown on the practice of using a tip jar. Why? Because they are tacky, inappropriate and unprofessional. So ditch the tip jar, pick up your check at the end of the pay period and be happy that in this economy you even have a fuckin job.

Well hello there, Dear Reader.
I've decided to take a couple moments to share my latest philosophical appraisal.
I have always been one of those that is pretty much a people pleaser. If I care about someone, friend or otherwise, I have a habit of doing what I can to help them out in any way I can. Invite them to movies, help them move furniture, work on their car, give them a place to crash, a ride, what have you. But sometimes I find myself coming to the sad realization that, although I am willing to do these things and drop what I am doing to assist or make myself available, the same may not be said in reverse.
This is where I came up with the Priority Matrix™ (patent pending).
Think of it like sort of a pyramid. This could be like the standard pyramid like the food pyramid or it could be more of a flattened pyramid, or even like a mesa or butte. The point being, it might not decrease in size in any regular manner, you might have one level that is really wide.
So this pyramid (for want of a better word) might represent your friends. You are positioned at the pointy top and then friends and family would be dispersed down the pyramid.
These people are likely arranged in order of priority. People you would drop everything for to help out in any way you can will be close to the top. I figure it would go from "drop everything to help" to "who gives a shit" at the bottom.
At one point I was thinking it might actually depend more on the action and less on the person, but I really don't think so. If you can't be bothered to reply to a message, you likely won't drop everything just to help them push their car. Though I suppose there are exceptions, perhaps it can relate to the Inverse Principle of Convenience™" the more inconvenient, the less likely you are to do it. But I still think that it matters more in WHO you do it for and less WHAT you are doing for them.
The thing that might sting a bit for people (it can for me) is that just because you have someone at the "drop everything for" level doesn't guarantee that you aren't at their relative "who gives a shit".
It's a downer. I'm a giver, it's what I do. I try not to expect or want anything in return, but I guess we all do in the end. I try to be altruistic, but I feel that such a character trait is a fallacy. In the end, something always comes out of it. Even if it is as simple as feeling good about yourself for helping; you are getting something back.
I have invited people to movies or dinner or general hanging out, to be rebuffed in return when they go out, and felt a little sting at that.
I have helped people move only to have them tell me they are too busy to help me.
I text or message people back pretty much immediately upon receiving a message from them, just to have to wait hours (or days) to get a message back.
But I take it all in stride. Or try to. This all depends on the person and where they fall in my Priority Matrix™ The thing is, my Priority Matrix™ is kind of lopsided, there are quite a few people I would do things for in relation to those I won't. But I don't think I am nearly as high on their matrices. What can I do? Not much.
Matrices are so subjective too. They aren't arranged as a quid pro quo. There is no guarantee where you will fall. Even though you might give someone the shirt off your back doesn't mean that if you need a glass of water that they will even bother to get off the couch to get it for you. Again, no quid pro quo.
I liken them to compliments. You put more weight in a compliment given to you based on your subjective opinion of the giver. A good musician? A compliment on your piano skills from them would likely mean more to you than one from someone who has never played a note. The same goes for attractiveness. If you are not attracted to someone but they tell you how hot you are, in a part of your mind you might register it and feel grateful, but if that person was hot in your opinion, it would mean a LOT more.
I'm sure there are people lower in my matrix than I am in theirs. Probably rare, but I will allow for it. Some of my friends, like me, are givers.
I try not to take offense when someone neglects to reply to me or return a favor, but that can sometimes be easier said than done. I am only human. And try as I might to convince people otherwise, I do have feelings. stupid feelings.
So that's my philosophy: don't be surprised if you aren't at the same level in your friends' matrices as they are in yours. Just understand that there is one and hopefully someday there will be an equilibrium. Just don't hold your breath waiting. God knows I don't.

Sometimes I confuse the hell out of myself.

Allow me to explain,
Waaaaay back when in oh, 2009, I was introduced to someone by close friends and I was still getting over the bitterness I had of the last time I opened myself up to awesomeness.

My reluctance, I feel, was understandable, but oh the things I missed when I finally opened up and allowed myself to experience just how great this person was. Funny, witty, insightful with charm and a wicked sense of humor and the ability to reduce someone to tears with a simple turn of phrase. Oh, how I love this kid.

I was new to this whole thing, having denied myself the chance to enjoy this from the get go. But it's hard, you try coming out when I did and not be so obvious and cliché in the things you enjoy. So yes, damnit, yes, I was filled with trepidation and fear.

Is it too late? Have I screwed myself over and made it so I cannot ever have this person in my life? They are so important and could complete me. Hopefully they will read this post and see my sincerity in realizing what I missed and my honest desire to try and make amends.

Thanks to torrents and DVD I think I can.

Sue Sylvester, I love you and I'm sorry. But the sting of the cancellation of Arrested Development was just so hard. And my acknowledging that I could like and yes, enjoy, a musical based show meant admitting that I am THAT gay.

You know, something else that makes me feel a little bitter about TV is the honest desire to include others and introduce them to great shows. Yes, I am talking to you mr. J-rock! Let me count the ways you fucker punk. Arrested Development (have you even finished it yet?) Battlestar Galactica (made it through the mini series movie, but the series, nope) and now Modern Family. Gah.

Do you know how much it sucks when you enjoy a show so much and you know someone else would and you want to talk with them about it, but instead all you hear coming from their room is moaning "By the power of Greyskull!" or the insipid title music from the frakkin (see how I did that, worked in a reference to BSG? awesome!) Gummi Bears. did they really make a show about them? For fuck's sake they're candy! This is what we have to thank the mid 80's early 90's for, cartoons about CANDY. (ixnay on the rawberrystay ortecakeshay)

Anyhoo, J-rock, put down the lube, wipe the image of He-Man and his flowing golden locks and pumping pecs and abs and queue up some Modern Family. I guarantee you'll like it. Maybe not as much as Sue Sylvester (swoon) likes sweatsuits, but you will like it.
Next up, BSG.

Met with this fellow tonight, he is called Twigg, or maybe Logan, depends I suppose.
Can I say I am impressed? Well, I suppose I CAN, the point being I am. Such a smart dude and such high-hopes and expectations. I felt sort of like an ass. I was ostensibly there to help him with setting up a site or two and just wound up chatting. Probably foolish, but I felt uncomfortable about discussing it with him with others around, mainly cuz it's sort of an esoteric topic. I mean it does seem that EVERYONE (and their dog) has a blog, but he wants to do more with his then just vent or express himself. And my knowledge of websites and the like is more geared toward monetization and search, and his needs don't really fall into that. Plus, the stuff I do can take session after session to teach, but how much of it would be useful to him? sigh. Couple that with the peeps that were there had a whole ton of personality and would likely have been bored with the topic, and that we were outside and couldn't really see my computer screen... chatting seemed the way to go. wth
This kid (he is only 18 and I am older than dirt a bit older) almost single-handedly set up the GSAs in this county for all the high-schools. HOLY SHIT! The balls it had to take to do something like this. I wasn't even out in high-school, let alone putting myself out there like he had to. Facing adversity and ridicule is so difficult in high-school as it is and he pretty much painted a target on his back and said, "Have at it people."
Much respect.
So as I was talking with him I found myself feeling such a sense of, "wow, this guy has so much going on for his age, and so much to offer this world" that I was just enthralled to be chatting with him.
Point of fact, I have met him before and I thought he was somewhat standoffish towards me, but i felt none of that this evening. Perhaps in my own insecurities I projected that towards him as a way to make myself feel better that I don't always run up to chat with people.
So, as always, long story shorter, it was a groovy evening, talking to a groovy dude, who I feel is someone who can only take our community higher. I worried that activism would flounder and the community here would falter and stall, but he has the reins and is making strides I wish I had the tenacity to make.
I bid you adieu now, as I am going to head on over to his blog and give it a read, check out some of his "theories" and see just how deep my respect and admiration can go. Me thinks, pretty deep.

Woo hoo! All my appliances are in!
Had the same installer as last time oh joy. Not a bad fella, but apparently he can't get to any appointment on time. What is that? The first time, for the range and mw, he went to La Verkin, this time, who the hell knows.
I was told by the company that he would be there between 12 and 2, closer to 12. So when did he roll in? Try just after 2.
I had already removed the original dishwasher, can I say ew? NASTY! When water is stagnant for any length of time it gets completely foul. It reeked like an open sewage pit. And of course it spilled onto the floor, the better to spread the wealth and stench.
So the new roomie (Corey) gave me a hand, whilst trying to keep from throwing up, and helped me get it out of the house (Thanks Corey!). It took a couple hours for the smell to dissipate but eventually it did and all was well, especially once we got the new one put in.
Of course you can see the new one in the pic below. (you can also see my new hardware that I put on the cabinets and drawers) OH and you can't see it in the photo but I also fixed the problem with the microwave where the door wouldn't open. Apparently I quite impressed the installer with my fancy work. go me.
(click to embiggin)