Noobies VÜ

Well hello there, Dear Reader.
I've decided to take a couple moments to share my latest philosophical appraisal.
I have always been one of those that is pretty much a people pleaser. If I care about someone, friend or otherwise, I have a habit of doing what I can to help them out in any way I can. Invite them to movies, help them move furniture, work on their car, give them a place to crash, a ride, what have you. But sometimes I find myself coming to the sad realization that, although I am willing to do these things and drop what I am doing to assist or make myself available, the same may not be said in reverse.
This is where I came up with the Priority Matrix™ (patent pending).
Think of it like sort of a pyramid. This could be like the standard pyramid like the food pyramid or it could be more of a flattened pyramid, or even like a mesa or butte. The point being, it might not decrease in size in any regular manner, you might have one level that is really wide.
So this pyramid (for want of a better word) might represent your friends. You are positioned at the pointy top and then friends and family would be dispersed down the pyramid.
These people are likely arranged in order of priority. People you would drop everything for to help out in any way you can will be close to the top. I figure it would go from "drop everything to help" to "who gives a shit" at the bottom.
At one point I was thinking it might actually depend more on the action and less on the person, but I really don't think so. If you can't be bothered to reply to a message, you likely won't drop everything just to help them push their car. Though I suppose there are exceptions, perhaps it can relate to the Inverse Principle of Convenience™" the more inconvenient, the less likely you are to do it. But I still think that it matters more in WHO you do it for and less WHAT you are doing for them.
The thing that might sting a bit for people (it can for me) is that just because you have someone at the "drop everything for" level doesn't guarantee that you aren't at their relative "who gives a shit".
It's a downer. I'm a giver, it's what I do. I try not to expect or want anything in return, but I guess we all do in the end. I try to be altruistic, but I feel that such a character trait is a fallacy. In the end, something always comes out of it. Even if it is as simple as feeling good about yourself for helping; you are getting something back.
I have invited people to movies or dinner or general hanging out, to be rebuffed in return when they go out, and felt a little sting at that.
I have helped people move only to have them tell me they are too busy to help me.
I text or message people back pretty much immediately upon receiving a message from them, just to have to wait hours (or days) to get a message back.
But I take it all in stride. Or try to. This all depends on the person and where they fall in my Priority Matrix™ The thing is, my Priority Matrix™ is kind of lopsided, there are quite a few people I would do things for in relation to those I won't. But I don't think I am nearly as high on their matrices. What can I do? Not much.
Matrices are so subjective too. They aren't arranged as a quid pro quo. There is no guarantee where you will fall. Even though you might give someone the shirt off your back doesn't mean that if you need a glass of water that they will even bother to get off the couch to get it for you. Again, no quid pro quo.
I liken them to compliments. You put more weight in a compliment given to you based on your subjective opinion of the giver. A good musician? A compliment on your piano skills from them would likely mean more to you than one from someone who has never played a note. The same goes for attractiveness. If you are not attracted to someone but they tell you how hot you are, in a part of your mind you might register it and feel grateful, but if that person was hot in your opinion, it would mean a LOT more.
I'm sure there are people lower in my matrix than I am in theirs. Probably rare, but I will allow for it. Some of my friends, like me, are givers.
I try not to take offense when someone neglects to reply to me or return a favor, but that can sometimes be easier said than done. I am only human. And try as I might to convince people otherwise, I do have feelings. stupid feelings.
So that's my philosophy: don't be surprised if you aren't at the same level in your friends' matrices as they are in yours. Just understand that there is one and hopefully someday there will be an equilibrium. Just don't hold your breath waiting. God knows I don't.