Noobies VÜ

This next might run the risk of offending a select few. This is not my intention, I am just here to spread the news of "the real". As a gay I cannot stand idly by and let boys (or men, guido's, douchebags, etc) live in denial or ignorance.
While it is a good idea to keep your face nice and toned with eyebrows (yes, there should be two to match the accompanying eyes) that don't look like a couple horny caterpillars marching across your forehead. But, there should be a limit.
Lately I keep seeing boys with eyebrows waxed to within millimeters of non-existence. You know if you're standing next to Pamela Anderson and people keep mistaking her for Brooke Shields, you might want to ease up on the tweezing. Just saying.


There was a server at my favorite Thai restaurant here in lovely St. George whose eyebrows became tragic. Good looking kid, but the eyebrows did him no favors. They looked like apostrophes set on their sides.
I watch TV and see this going on too. The eyebrows should look natural, not like a tweaker after a weeklong binge held you down and attacked you with a weedeater.
Manscaping, among other things, involves cleaning up the stray hairs and giving the brows a nice shape while holding to the natural contours that they have. They aren't supposed to be tortured.
It kills me the most when I go to the gym and see the big beefy guys with eyebrows that would make Marlena Dietrich feel like Groucho Marx. I mean, really? You think that is a good look for you?



So, for the love of all things that are holy guys, if you come out of the salon looking like one of these guys, fire the person who just assaulted your face.

This isn't limited to just guys of course, chicks in this town can be ridiculous as well. Sometimes it's just a need for practice. One girl I knew kept trying to even them up, "oops too far in, better adjust the other to match, oops, now gotta go back, oops, oops, damnit!" Girl's eyebrows started mid-pupil and ended at the corner, looked like she used a Magic Marker. You could put your whole hand between them, no shape at all. Sad, just sad.