Noobies VÜ

So. I am starting to see a troubling trend crop up all over the place. In areas that it really has no business being. The trend? Tip Jars. WTF?
When I go to a restaurant where I am served and brought water/drinks- what have you, I can understand the need to tip. And I do so, quite handsomely. I ate at the Egg and I a couple of weeks ago, (thanks Kyle and Corey) and though I had eaten already that morning, I got a li'l sumthin sumthin. My bill was $2 and change. I tipped $3. Why? Because the gal was a riot and gave awesome service. I, for one, have no problem rewarding great service. Isn't that what a tip is all about?
It bothers the hell out of me that some restaurants pool all the tips into one collective pot and then divy them up "equally". I cry "BULLSHIT!" I have been to some of these places where you get horrible service from one server fat dude at red robin and other servers bust their asses to help you and keep your glass full and make sure everything is well. While others act like you are an inconvenience. This is your job people. Maybe if you looked happy about it, you would find yourself getting some decent tips. Even horrible servers fat dude at red robin will get a tip from me, rarely less than 10%. But most of the time I am closer to 20-25%, and as you can see from the Egg and I, sometimes over 100% (let's face it, had it been a $10 meal, the tip likely wouldn't have changed much though. I guess I'm more of a flat rate type of person.) anyhoo
The thing that bugs is places like a Benja's (love this place, don't get me wrong) and of course Subway, and Starbucks, where they have tip jars at the counter. TIP JARS! What the fuck?
Let me get this straight, I purchase a drink, or meal from you and pick it up to leave, thereby leaving you with nothing to do but to make my drink/meal and move on. I don't take up any of your time with niceties or the need to top off my drink. You made my drink and/or meal and handed it to me and I walked out the door. Why am I expected to tip that? Isn't that the idea behind your job? To make my drink/sandwich/dinner so that I may take it home and drink/eat it there?
Actually I can get it, maybe you figure, "well, I packaged the shit out of your drunken noodle, so that deserves a reward, AND I did have to carry it from the kitchen and leave it at the counter." OR maybe, "I barista'd the hell out of that drink I deserve a reward for a job well done." OR, "Did you see how I slapped that meat into your sandwich with such flair that I only got it partially wadded up and that you only had to ask 3 times for me to put mustard on it? I deserve compensation for that." Yes, you do, it's called a paycheck.
I am seeing these damn things everywhere now: take out restaurants, icee shacks, coffee houses (one of my faves originally instituted a no tip jar policy and was vocal about it, guess what made an appearance a few weeks ago...), sandwich shops, pizza joints, fast-food places, the list goes on. Of course all of these tip jars are also at the point of sale. Pretty much calling out, throw that spare change of yours in this handy little cup that we scribbled "tipps"[sic] on and show your appreciation for a job well done. This is at the point of sale, have I even partaken of my order yet? Ask Jared and he'll tell you 9 times out of 10 his shit gets screwed up. And, since we rarely stand at the counter and sample what was made, we usually don't know if it's any good until we're either at home or a few minutes down the road.
Sure, sure, sure, "you are rewarding past experiences". Well, since you fucked up my drink 9 times out of 10 I think I should be able to reward myself for continuing to give you a chance by taking some of the money out of said tip jar. But I don't.
I am also quite aware that most chains frown on the practice of using a tip jar. Why? Because they are tacky, inappropriate and unprofessional. So ditch the tip jar, pick up your check at the end of the pay period and be happy that in this economy you even have a fuckin job.