Noobies VÜ

It was brought to my attention by someone I consider a dear and true friend that I might have unfairly focused on the LDS church and Boyd K. Packer. I think I need to qualify the statement I made earlier on Facebook and Twitter. Since I tweeted it at the same time I could only use 140 characters but there is more to it. I am not LDS. I do not hold to LDS beliefs. This man means nothing to me. I made the original joke intending to use some other old guy, but he's in the media right now and was stuck in my mind. So be it. That's the price of being relevant.

I could care less what this man thinks of me. If there is a god I will answer to him/her/it when the time comes. I feel I have lived a "righteous" life so I am confident I will be okay. *fingers crossed ;o)

I used I/me instead of us/we simply because it was easier.

The problem with what this man says is evident in the rate of suicide/attempts among LDS youth who feel that they are abominations and sinners. That they have a choice and that they choose to be this way. Imagine being told you are a certain color because you choose to be. Now try to change that color. I can speak for myself that I tried to change. I tried to not find guys attractive and I failed. I too attempted to end my life as a result (half-heartedly and obviously unsuccessfully) and have more than once found myself contemplating it, even this late in life.

People don’t understand what comes along with being gay sometimes. Some people have an easier time with it than others. I am single and have been for pretty much ever. Such is my lot in life I suppose. Am I happy about it? Hell no. Perhaps that will change.

As a result of this solitude there have been times it seemed like it would be so much easier to not have to deal with it. While I lived in Vegas that reached a peak, luckily, I withstood the onslaught of despair and reveled in the friendships I had and the family I am close to. Without that… who is to say.

So, if one were to believe what many ecclesiastic leaders preach, why don’t I just switch teams? Why don’t I just find a nice woman to settle down with? If only it were that easy. I long to spend my life with someone, and to have children and grandchildren and all the concomitant things that accompany such a life, but it is not be. Would that I could change that, but I cannot. It’s not that I haven’t tried. But it is not going to happen and I am the only one having to live that truth. Regardless of what ignorant people will tell you, there is no choice. There is no waking up suddenly realizing that, oh hey, I think I like guys now.

I could no more force myself into a loveless marriage just for the sake of not being alone. I could not put my wife and possible future children through the emotional rollercoaster that would be sure to follow. I have no desire to find myself trolling the internet via Craig’s list or some other hook-up site with the intention of finding some guys to have trysts with while pretending to be a decent and honorable family man.

This is what happens all the time. There are a ton of ads in every city of guys wanting to get with another, on the “down low” “no strings attached” “married guys ok” and all the rest. You have closeted senators and church leaders meeting other guys in bathrooms then having to face their own hypocrisy in the news when the “scandal” breaks.

I long for the world where who I love matters less than the brand of car I drive or the groups I listen to or movies and books I prefer. All are things that have no effect on the people around me, though they may have a differing opinion about, but ultimately has no impact on how they feel about me as a person.

Is this such a bad dream? Is it too much to expect? For now, apparently, it is.

I have been informed that it has been too long since last I posted. Though it seems like no one ever reads my blog it does make me feel a bit better when I am told such things, because it gives lie to the assumption that I only do it to see myself write.
So there is a question when you are creating a blog and putting down your thoughts: Is it of intrinsic worth and value, or is it simply an exercise in indulgence where you can just prattle on and on about mostly nothing excessively with little or no regard to grammar, punctuation or the joys of brevity?
Now that I put this down of course, one or more people are going to assume that I am talking directly or indirectly about them. Maybe I am (I am) but, maybe it's just further evidence of these peoples' arrogance and assumption that everything indeed is about them.
But as my friends they cannot help but influence my writing and opiniations. Is this bad? No. I think it is not.
I think the true value of reading and writing blogs is learning through them how to write and perhaps how not to. I do try to be somewhat entertaining and I hope that I succeed more often then I fail, but that is really up to the reader no?
Looking back at my blog I saw that I had very accurately commented that it would likely be a forum for me to complain and vent in. It's very useful that way.
Some days I am even grumpy when I have had nothing go on that I can complain about. Let's face it, those are the most entertaining posts.
In closing I ask myself a few questions:
1. am I overly self-indulgent in my writing
2. am I improving in my writing
3. other than ranting and raving, and maybe the occasional homo-improvement post, am I entertaining
4. do I bore people
5. are my posts too long and pedagogic
6. are they the opposite; too short and obtuse
7. because seven is supposed to be a karmic spiritual number, should I edit more, both for length and spelling/grammar/punctuation errors
All these questions and more run through my mind every time I post.
Maybe I shouldn't concern myself too much with such petty concerns, but if I hope to garner or maintain an audience I think they are paramount. So I shall ruminate on them a bit more, and hopefully not as much time will pass between now and my next post. If I am lucky maybe some punk/q-tip will cut me off in traffic and give me grist to mill on my mortar and pestle of a blog.

I was talking to a friend of mine who also has a blog, and he was distressed by a negative comment he received. This got me thinking, as a blogger, who is putting his thoughts out to the world, should he not expect to receive some kind of feedback on his posts? And should he only expect to have positive comments and feedback?
I figure I can expect to have feedback that runs the gamut. I understand his concern and I also understood his reaction. The feedback wasn't terribly kind, and he didn't receive it on his actual blog, instead he received it on his Facebook wall. Was this an appropriate forum for that feedback?
If we are going to put ourselves out there and use multiple forums of promotion, I suppose we can expect any of those forums as possible sources of commentary and feedback.
Was what the commenter said inappropriate then?
I guess that would depend on the recipient. For him, no. Me? I think I would have just given it back in kind, or simply ignored it, or deleted it, whichever pleased me at that point.
I also provided him feedback, but I did so face to face- frankly I was somewhat bored with his post. I thought it was mildly indulgent and overlong.
But you know what?
It's his blog, he can do or say whatever in the world makes him happy.
Would I call him lame on his Facebook wall? Probably not. But that's just not how I usually operate.
But the thing is, that's the risk you take when you use a public forum for expressing yourself. People are going to make digs and some people are going to think you're the second coming. But will they ALWAYS think you are? Unless you are totally awesome... probably not. It's the haps. I have multiple people I follow, other than S.T. Lewis, who is just spot on about all the time, most of them- the revered Wil Wheaton for one, and 27b/6 for another, have let me down. But I move on and read them again and weigh each of their posts on their own merits. Just like an Emmy winning comedy can have an off episode, so too can a great blogger have an off post.
Just shake it off and try again.

Went up to Kolob this past weekend. I have never been there, but after seeing it I want to go again and again. I really have to question why the hell I bought a house when I could have gotten a ratty old trailer and stuck it up on a lot here instead. You can recharge in this kind of beauty. I might could also talk my brother into coming to visit with views like this. (oh and the less than sun-surface temperatures help.)
The image below is looking into Zion Canyon from Lava Point Overlook (as always, click to embiggen)

Like a fool I shined on taking my camera so I am stuck with these craptastic shots I took with my phone. And to top that off I could only take a few because the battery died. grrr
The image below is one of a couple I took at the cabin we were at. Thank you Claudia Bradshaw for hosting us 'mos for your annual PFLAG bbq. Why I never went before I don't know.

The shot below is directly from her back yard looking to the northeast

This shot is to the southeast
Man, so much beauty and the smell of the trees and grasses, just marvelous. To get away from the heat of St. George was such a needed respite. I would go again in a hot minute. I am packing up a tent and heading up at the first chance.

I attacked my fireplace yet again. I wanted to have a mantle so I could decorate it. So, I ran to my local Home Depot, and grabbed a shelf and some brackets and a piece of wood, along with a nifty new jigsaw and set to work.
This is what I had the first morning, I think I made pretty good headway.
And voila, this morning, 2 days after starting I have made Mantle!
I wonder if it stands out enough really. It just looks like my stuff is floating on the fireplace now.
Opinions? I thought about maybe banding the front edge with stainless just to make it stand out more. (as always- click pix to embiggen)

I know, I know, it has been a while since I last posted. For that, I apologize to the 2 or 3 of you that read this crap.
Ironically enough, I have started a new blog, since I am so efficient at updating this one, that is a called Noobie's 365.
365 Project is a little thing people are starting to do where you take a picture a day for one year. Just to see what catches your eye or interest. Some take photos of themselves (we all know I'm not keen on that one) some take photos of things that they like, or dislike I suppose. This would be me. I am hoping to improve my photography and perhaps photoshop skills while doing this and maybe even spark some interest in people. or just bore them with two blogs instead of just one.
Let's see what happens!
p.s. I will still be updating here since the other one will mostly be snippets not lengthy posts.

Hello childrens,
Today's post is one I have been thinking about for some time, but not so much in blog form, more so in cartoon. But alas, I am not an illustrator and would have difficulty in bringing forth this concept in a single- or even, multi-panel comic. Is there a difference between comic and cartoon? Imma look that up. hold on... apparently it would be more accurate to say cartoon. The more you knoowwwww.

So anyhoo, as many of you know I have someone living in the house that is still fully in his teens. I have many friends in their teens, but I haven't really spent the amount of time with them that I have with him. It's kind of illuminating. But I've almost decided also sorta sad.

I would say he is a true child of technology. It's like he's got a tether to his phone and/or Facebook. It's a constant in his life. It's almost like he sprang from the head of Google fully formed. He has a far better grasp of Teh Interwebs and their concomitant peer-to-peer social networks, than I do after having been trained and making a living teaching it to people for the last 4 years. It's somewhat scary. I don't think it would be hyperbole to say that I think he would literally go into withdrawal were he to be away from his phone or internet access for any length of time.

Is that bad? I rather think so: anything that, when removed, causes a negative reaction can be defined as an addiction.

This is the thing: when driving down the road he seems to have blinders on. If he doesn't have his phone up to his nose he pretty much just stares down the road. No external stimuli seems to get through. If I point out a vehicle/sign/etc it takes him minutes to react, and he rarely sees the vehicle/sign/etc in question; unless we're stopped beside it.

Noticed the same thing this morning, hot guy getting his bike off the bus. I noticed him from over a block away. I attempted to bring this fellow to his attention, (as I thought he might be someone he too could enjoy looking at) it was akin to pointing out the melting point of steel; no reaction, no comment, and I doubt he even heard me.

So is it deleterious that he seems to live life through a 3.5" screen? I think so. So many things seem to go on around him, and probably others of his ilk, without so much as a mention or raised eyebrow. I watched a fellow cram a case of empties into a trash can at the Mirastar at Walmart yesterday. And I mean CRAM; he fought it! He put on these fussy little gloves (probably to keep the diesel smell off his hands) and then rounded up a bunch of trash from his truck and proceeded to throw it away. I was entertained watching him shove what amounted to a bowling ball through softball sized hole. (this is almost akin to birth, no? not to minimize birth as that the size discrepancies are much greater) This guy did everything short of standing on the box to get it in the trash can; beating, slamming, pushing, nudging, coercing. I chuckled, (this is one of those arbitrary logic tests life seems to send to us.) with the knowledge that had he simply pulled the top off the can he could have easily placed the box into it. Anyhoo, I glanced over at my young friend and he was oblivious to the goings on; eyes intently staring at his cellphone that was millimeters from his face. (he later pointed out he didn't have his glasses on natch)

This, as I mention with the instances above, is common with him. It seems if it doesn't happen online, it doesn't matter, nor perhaps, does it really exist. What else could he be missing? What else could all people who are so attached to their technology be missing? I'm not a Luddite, I rather enjoy technology. But when does it become a crutch? When we mention stopping and smelling the roses, how soon will there come a reply, "Why? I have an app for that."

So that's my concern. Are we becoming a race of beings that will soon only interact through digital and artificial means? I know our parents were concerned with our dependence on video games and tv and the like, just as theirs were probably concerned about a whole host of distractions. This is not a new phenomenon, though, like technology and its doubling at a shorter rate each time, it is getting more and more insidious and invasive. There is so much to see, touch, taste, and smell, that to try and get those experiences from a wafer of silicone, is such a tragic "advancement" in life.

My cartoon? I envisage a couple panels showing a car crashing into a home, and a ufo landing and little green men rescuing all the people inside the vehicle and home and then by some mystic power ray restoring everything in sight to its former glory. All of this witnessed by a couple of people in a car, one with his mouth agape and gobsmacked by what he witnessed. The other with a smart phone or netpad who comments excitedly, "Oh my god, did you just see that!? The new Breaking Dawn trailer is awesome! That movie is going to rock!"

Hello gentle readers!
There has been a mystery brewing at casa de crazy.
For weeks I have seen these flipflops sitting by my speaker in my living room and have been meaning to chastise one young master Wilkey about his lack of care when it comes to leaving his thongs about. Never mind the 4 pair of sneaks and 2 pair of flipflops I have in the living room. This is not the point, the point is his flipflops that he has refused to remove to his room for weeks now!



Last night he had the gall to try and blame the flipflop disaster on ME! How dare he?! These are not my flipflops. I am quite certain that I watched him cast them aside some time ago. But he repudiates me and claims that they are mine and not his. This will not stand!

BUT allowing that they are not his, nor mine, nor J-rock's or Erik's, the question remains, who the fuck owns these flipflops? Who came to our house attired in footwear then stole away into the night abandoning them? And if they did not do so consciously, how could they not notice that they weren't wearing them?

We had a bit of a party when we first moved in but I don't recall seeing them there until well after Corey moved in. (I still say they are his) Perhaps at said party somebody got wrecked and walked away without them. Who knows? So I now come to you 2 or 3 people that read this blog to look at these things and hopefully explain the mystery that has plagued this house for, oh 11 hours now, and bring peace back into our home.


PLEASE peruse the image I thoughtfully attached here and if they are your shoes let us know. IF you recognize them as belonging to someone you know, tell them. I don't care if they continue to languish here or if I am instructed to toss them, or if they are retrieved, it's the knowing who they belong to that matters to me.

Please people, we cannot rest until the rightful owner Corey claims these things. So now I shall leave you to it. I think I shall have a sammich and a nap.

Well, I have to say I am quite lucky. Went to catch a movie, the craptastic Airbender, and once we got to the theater my friend pointed out my rear tire on my motorcycle. I had noticed before that my tire was getting a little bare and would need to be replaced, but I had NO idea.


Note the lovely belts showing through on the left. Apparently, I take a lot of left hand turns.
I have had belts show on cars but we're talking about 4000 pounds of metal and glass that protects you from most injuries you can get when you suffer a blow out. Not so much on a 600 lb motorcycle.
I nursed Pandora home (didn't go to the movie, I might watch it someday but it turns out it was only in 3D there, not gonna watch it in that for sure) and hit the interwebs for a suitable replacement and I happened on this fabulousness.

I don't have a Lambo but I can ride on the same tires. They are called Pirelli Angel STs. (note the angel embossed in the tread- apparently AGAIN? stupid word it goes away after 650 miles and becomes the "demon" ooooo. Had excellent reviews! And with the fancy-factor, I'm on!
My original tires, Bridgestone BT021 Battlax barely made 5000 miles. These are hopefully good for 7500. (From what I have read that's pretty good for a motorcycle)
So I made it home, no crashing, no blowouts and I'm excited for my new shoes!

This next might run the risk of offending a select few. This is not my intention, I am just here to spread the news of "the real". As a gay I cannot stand idly by and let boys (or men, guido's, douchebags, etc) live in denial or ignorance.
While it is a good idea to keep your face nice and toned with eyebrows (yes, there should be two to match the accompanying eyes) that don't look like a couple horny caterpillars marching across your forehead. But, there should be a limit.
Lately I keep seeing boys with eyebrows waxed to within millimeters of non-existence. You know if you're standing next to Pamela Anderson and people keep mistaking her for Brooke Shields, you might want to ease up on the tweezing. Just saying.


There was a server at my favorite Thai restaurant here in lovely St. George whose eyebrows became tragic. Good looking kid, but the eyebrows did him no favors. They looked like apostrophes set on their sides.
I watch TV and see this going on too. The eyebrows should look natural, not like a tweaker after a weeklong binge held you down and attacked you with a weedeater.
Manscaping, among other things, involves cleaning up the stray hairs and giving the brows a nice shape while holding to the natural contours that they have. They aren't supposed to be tortured.
It kills me the most when I go to the gym and see the big beefy guys with eyebrows that would make Marlena Dietrich feel like Groucho Marx. I mean, really? You think that is a good look for you?



So, for the love of all things that are holy guys, if you come out of the salon looking like one of these guys, fire the person who just assaulted your face.

This isn't limited to just guys of course, chicks in this town can be ridiculous as well. Sometimes it's just a need for practice. One girl I knew kept trying to even them up, "oops too far in, better adjust the other to match, oops, now gotta go back, oops, oops, damnit!" Girl's eyebrows started mid-pupil and ended at the corner, looked like she used a Magic Marker. You could put your whole hand between them, no shape at all. Sad, just sad.

So. I am starting to see a troubling trend crop up all over the place. In areas that it really has no business being. The trend? Tip Jars. WTF?
When I go to a restaurant where I am served and brought water/drinks- what have you, I can understand the need to tip. And I do so, quite handsomely. I ate at the Egg and I a couple of weeks ago, (thanks Kyle and Corey) and though I had eaten already that morning, I got a li'l sumthin sumthin. My bill was $2 and change. I tipped $3. Why? Because the gal was a riot and gave awesome service. I, for one, have no problem rewarding great service. Isn't that what a tip is all about?
It bothers the hell out of me that some restaurants pool all the tips into one collective pot and then divy them up "equally". I cry "BULLSHIT!" I have been to some of these places where you get horrible service from one server fat dude at red robin and other servers bust their asses to help you and keep your glass full and make sure everything is well. While others act like you are an inconvenience. This is your job people. Maybe if you looked happy about it, you would find yourself getting some decent tips. Even horrible servers fat dude at red robin will get a tip from me, rarely less than 10%. But most of the time I am closer to 20-25%, and as you can see from the Egg and I, sometimes over 100% (let's face it, had it been a $10 meal, the tip likely wouldn't have changed much though. I guess I'm more of a flat rate type of person.) anyhoo
The thing that bugs is places like a Benja's (love this place, don't get me wrong) and of course Subway, and Starbucks, where they have tip jars at the counter. TIP JARS! What the fuck?
Let me get this straight, I purchase a drink, or meal from you and pick it up to leave, thereby leaving you with nothing to do but to make my drink/meal and move on. I don't take up any of your time with niceties or the need to top off my drink. You made my drink and/or meal and handed it to me and I walked out the door. Why am I expected to tip that? Isn't that the idea behind your job? To make my drink/sandwich/dinner so that I may take it home and drink/eat it there?
Actually I can get it, maybe you figure, "well, I packaged the shit out of your drunken noodle, so that deserves a reward, AND I did have to carry it from the kitchen and leave it at the counter." OR maybe, "I barista'd the hell out of that drink I deserve a reward for a job well done." OR, "Did you see how I slapped that meat into your sandwich with such flair that I only got it partially wadded up and that you only had to ask 3 times for me to put mustard on it? I deserve compensation for that." Yes, you do, it's called a paycheck.
I am seeing these damn things everywhere now: take out restaurants, icee shacks, coffee houses (one of my faves originally instituted a no tip jar policy and was vocal about it, guess what made an appearance a few weeks ago...), sandwich shops, pizza joints, fast-food places, the list goes on. Of course all of these tip jars are also at the point of sale. Pretty much calling out, throw that spare change of yours in this handy little cup that we scribbled "tipps"[sic] on and show your appreciation for a job well done. This is at the point of sale, have I even partaken of my order yet? Ask Jared and he'll tell you 9 times out of 10 his shit gets screwed up. And, since we rarely stand at the counter and sample what was made, we usually don't know if it's any good until we're either at home or a few minutes down the road.
Sure, sure, sure, "you are rewarding past experiences". Well, since you fucked up my drink 9 times out of 10 I think I should be able to reward myself for continuing to give you a chance by taking some of the money out of said tip jar. But I don't.
I am also quite aware that most chains frown on the practice of using a tip jar. Why? Because they are tacky, inappropriate and unprofessional. So ditch the tip jar, pick up your check at the end of the pay period and be happy that in this economy you even have a fuckin job.

Well hello there, Dear Reader.
I've decided to take a couple moments to share my latest philosophical appraisal.
I have always been one of those that is pretty much a people pleaser. If I care about someone, friend or otherwise, I have a habit of doing what I can to help them out in any way I can. Invite them to movies, help them move furniture, work on their car, give them a place to crash, a ride, what have you. But sometimes I find myself coming to the sad realization that, although I am willing to do these things and drop what I am doing to assist or make myself available, the same may not be said in reverse.
This is where I came up with the Priority Matrix™ (patent pending).
Think of it like sort of a pyramid. This could be like the standard pyramid like the food pyramid or it could be more of a flattened pyramid, or even like a mesa or butte. The point being, it might not decrease in size in any regular manner, you might have one level that is really wide.
So this pyramid (for want of a better word) might represent your friends. You are positioned at the pointy top and then friends and family would be dispersed down the pyramid.
These people are likely arranged in order of priority. People you would drop everything for to help out in any way you can will be close to the top. I figure it would go from "drop everything to help" to "who gives a shit" at the bottom.
At one point I was thinking it might actually depend more on the action and less on the person, but I really don't think so. If you can't be bothered to reply to a message, you likely won't drop everything just to help them push their car. Though I suppose there are exceptions, perhaps it can relate to the Inverse Principle of Convenience™" the more inconvenient, the less likely you are to do it. But I still think that it matters more in WHO you do it for and less WHAT you are doing for them.
The thing that might sting a bit for people (it can for me) is that just because you have someone at the "drop everything for" level doesn't guarantee that you aren't at their relative "who gives a shit".
It's a downer. I'm a giver, it's what I do. I try not to expect or want anything in return, but I guess we all do in the end. I try to be altruistic, but I feel that such a character trait is a fallacy. In the end, something always comes out of it. Even if it is as simple as feeling good about yourself for helping; you are getting something back.
I have invited people to movies or dinner or general hanging out, to be rebuffed in return when they go out, and felt a little sting at that.
I have helped people move only to have them tell me they are too busy to help me.
I text or message people back pretty much immediately upon receiving a message from them, just to have to wait hours (or days) to get a message back.
But I take it all in stride. Or try to. This all depends on the person and where they fall in my Priority Matrix™ The thing is, my Priority Matrix™ is kind of lopsided, there are quite a few people I would do things for in relation to those I won't. But I don't think I am nearly as high on their matrices. What can I do? Not much.
Matrices are so subjective too. They aren't arranged as a quid pro quo. There is no guarantee where you will fall. Even though you might give someone the shirt off your back doesn't mean that if you need a glass of water that they will even bother to get off the couch to get it for you. Again, no quid pro quo.
I liken them to compliments. You put more weight in a compliment given to you based on your subjective opinion of the giver. A good musician? A compliment on your piano skills from them would likely mean more to you than one from someone who has never played a note. The same goes for attractiveness. If you are not attracted to someone but they tell you how hot you are, in a part of your mind you might register it and feel grateful, but if that person was hot in your opinion, it would mean a LOT more.
I'm sure there are people lower in my matrix than I am in theirs. Probably rare, but I will allow for it. Some of my friends, like me, are givers.
I try not to take offense when someone neglects to reply to me or return a favor, but that can sometimes be easier said than done. I am only human. And try as I might to convince people otherwise, I do have feelings. stupid feelings.
So that's my philosophy: don't be surprised if you aren't at the same level in your friends' matrices as they are in yours. Just understand that there is one and hopefully someday there will be an equilibrium. Just don't hold your breath waiting. God knows I don't.

Sometimes I confuse the hell out of myself.

Allow me to explain,
Waaaaay back when in oh, 2009, I was introduced to someone by close friends and I was still getting over the bitterness I had of the last time I opened myself up to awesomeness.

My reluctance, I feel, was understandable, but oh the things I missed when I finally opened up and allowed myself to experience just how great this person was. Funny, witty, insightful with charm and a wicked sense of humor and the ability to reduce someone to tears with a simple turn of phrase. Oh, how I love this kid.

I was new to this whole thing, having denied myself the chance to enjoy this from the get go. But it's hard, you try coming out when I did and not be so obvious and cliché in the things you enjoy. So yes, damnit, yes, I was filled with trepidation and fear.

Is it too late? Have I screwed myself over and made it so I cannot ever have this person in my life? They are so important and could complete me. Hopefully they will read this post and see my sincerity in realizing what I missed and my honest desire to try and make amends.

Thanks to torrents and DVD I think I can.

Sue Sylvester, I love you and I'm sorry. But the sting of the cancellation of Arrested Development was just so hard. And my acknowledging that I could like and yes, enjoy, a musical based show meant admitting that I am THAT gay.

You know, something else that makes me feel a little bitter about TV is the honest desire to include others and introduce them to great shows. Yes, I am talking to you mr. J-rock! Let me count the ways you fucker punk. Arrested Development (have you even finished it yet?) Battlestar Galactica (made it through the mini series movie, but the series, nope) and now Modern Family. Gah.

Do you know how much it sucks when you enjoy a show so much and you know someone else would and you want to talk with them about it, but instead all you hear coming from their room is moaning "By the power of Greyskull!" or the insipid title music from the frakkin (see how I did that, worked in a reference to BSG? awesome!) Gummi Bears. did they really make a show about them? For fuck's sake they're candy! This is what we have to thank the mid 80's early 90's for, cartoons about CANDY. (ixnay on the rawberrystay ortecakeshay)

Anyhoo, J-rock, put down the lube, wipe the image of He-Man and his flowing golden locks and pumping pecs and abs and queue up some Modern Family. I guarantee you'll like it. Maybe not as much as Sue Sylvester (swoon) likes sweatsuits, but you will like it.
Next up, BSG.

Met with this fellow tonight, he is called Twigg, or maybe Logan, depends I suppose.
Can I say I am impressed? Well, I suppose I CAN, the point being I am. Such a smart dude and such high-hopes and expectations. I felt sort of like an ass. I was ostensibly there to help him with setting up a site or two and just wound up chatting. Probably foolish, but I felt uncomfortable about discussing it with him with others around, mainly cuz it's sort of an esoteric topic. I mean it does seem that EVERYONE (and their dog) has a blog, but he wants to do more with his then just vent or express himself. And my knowledge of websites and the like is more geared toward monetization and search, and his needs don't really fall into that. Plus, the stuff I do can take session after session to teach, but how much of it would be useful to him? sigh. Couple that with the peeps that were there had a whole ton of personality and would likely have been bored with the topic, and that we were outside and couldn't really see my computer screen... chatting seemed the way to go. wth
This kid (he is only 18 and I am older than dirt a bit older) almost single-handedly set up the GSAs in this county for all the high-schools. HOLY SHIT! The balls it had to take to do something like this. I wasn't even out in high-school, let alone putting myself out there like he had to. Facing adversity and ridicule is so difficult in high-school as it is and he pretty much painted a target on his back and said, "Have at it people."
Much respect.
So as I was talking with him I found myself feeling such a sense of, "wow, this guy has so much going on for his age, and so much to offer this world" that I was just enthralled to be chatting with him.
Point of fact, I have met him before and I thought he was somewhat standoffish towards me, but i felt none of that this evening. Perhaps in my own insecurities I projected that towards him as a way to make myself feel better that I don't always run up to chat with people.
So, as always, long story shorter, it was a groovy evening, talking to a groovy dude, who I feel is someone who can only take our community higher. I worried that activism would flounder and the community here would falter and stall, but he has the reins and is making strides I wish I had the tenacity to make.
I bid you adieu now, as I am going to head on over to his blog and give it a read, check out some of his "theories" and see just how deep my respect and admiration can go. Me thinks, pretty deep.

Woo hoo! All my appliances are in!
Had the same installer as last time oh joy. Not a bad fella, but apparently he can't get to any appointment on time. What is that? The first time, for the range and mw, he went to La Verkin, this time, who the hell knows.
I was told by the company that he would be there between 12 and 2, closer to 12. So when did he roll in? Try just after 2.
I had already removed the original dishwasher, can I say ew? NASTY! When water is stagnant for any length of time it gets completely foul. It reeked like an open sewage pit. And of course it spilled onto the floor, the better to spread the wealth and stench.
So the new roomie (Corey) gave me a hand, whilst trying to keep from throwing up, and helped me get it out of the house (Thanks Corey!). It took a couple hours for the smell to dissipate but eventually it did and all was well, especially once we got the new one put in.
Of course you can see the new one in the pic below. (you can also see my new hardware that I put on the cabinets and drawers) OH and you can't see it in the photo but I also fixed the problem with the microwave where the door wouldn't open. Apparently I quite impressed the installer with my fancy work. go me.
(click to embiggin)

Woo hoo, I now have a new range and microwave! Both are a beautiful black and are marvelous, I can feel myself becoming more intelligent and prettier by the moment.
some picture goodness (as always, click to embiggen):


The installation was a bit of a mess, apparently the guy hasn't lived here long and went to LaVerkin instead of Ivins. (for those of you out of the area that's about 35 miles in the opposite direction) So I had to wait for him to get there. Killed my lunch hour. Then when he got there he had a few issues (not all of them sartorial but that was a biggie- look it up. lol) but I guess my cabinets had some hard wood to drill or whatever, my advice, get a new bit. After he finally got it in he went to open it and, I am sitting in the living room mind you, he pipes up, "uh-oh". Don't know about you but this is not a phrase I like hearing when someone is installing stuff. Turns out that Frigidaire didn't make it so the hinge on the door took no extra space. So, since the microwave is hard against the wall, when you open the door the front edge hits the wall before it's half way open. sigh... looks like I have a project ahead of me. I need to scootch the cupboards over half an inch or so. An hour later, appliances installed and all was mostly right with the world.

I also recently changed out my lighting fixture in the bathroom, the old one was hideous. A little before:


and after with dimming action:

Here we go!
This is what the Fireplace looks like now, scrapped off as much of the rust (well-done people) that I could and painted it with a high heat paint made for BBQ's and the polished up the shiny bits. Looks pretty good IMHO, just don't get too close, that rust did a job on the surface of it. I still need to frame in the stainless, but I need a chop saw before I can do that, so that's down the road.

And here be the kitchen. Still need some hardware, but I like the black cabinets a lot.

It's not quite done, but here is a view of my fireplace. (as always, click to embiggen)


Some people probably think i am crazy for blacking it out, but I just did not dig the previous look, plus, thanks to the brilliance of others, the brick was quite stained and the wood insert was, in a word, hih-dee-us. blah. No more!
I still need to frame the stainless and I might put up some fabu things I found at Pier 1 to cut the severity, but I don't know just yet.

Now this whole exercise, with the fireplace and kitchen, has really woken me up to the grossness and filth that some people live in. Mostly the kitchen. Do people (or these people more accurately) choose to live in this kind of filth or are they simply unaware of it? I was getting pretty grossed out by the amount of grease on the cupboard doors above the stove. Totally nasty. And I think it is very possible that if I were ever to meet the previous owners that I would likely do some talking with the back of my hand. What The Phuck man? The tape, seriously? That was the best you could do?
But then they did eventually put on child proof plastic dealies, on everything that opened. The linen closet doors, the doors for the laundry area, all the drawers and doors on the cabinets. For the love of god people, instead of putting that stuff everywhere, here's an idea, watch your damn kids. My mother was a firm believer in the idea that you teach your children what they can and cannot touch. She refused to put things out of reach or "child proof" our home. It made perfect sense, what happens if your precious offspring goes to a friend's home, or baby-sitter's and they don't have the same precautions you took? Teach your kids that what is under the sink, though tasty it may appear, is not for consumption. Knives are sharp, stoves are hot, and peoples' objet d'art are not toys.
I thought I was going to need a blow torch to get the little catches off the drawers, because the damn things wouldn't let me pull the drawer out so I could remove them. But by the grace of god and a pointy screwdriver I was finally able to Conan the damn things off the cabinet.
I am now at peace, mostly, and I am looking forward to completing my kitchen. hopefully putting the doors back on today, and then... hardware. Someday. Of course the stuff I like has to be just about the most expensive you can get. It's not THE most expensive, but in relation to other choices, its' not cheap.
psh. god I wanna slap some people.

It finally happened, I am a big boy now. And no, I don't mean I am wearing pull-ups. I bought a house. Crazy, I know. But it's true. I never would have thought I would have been able to. But after 1 car too many parked in front of the current place, and 1 more screaming match from the neighbors behind us, I had had enough. On a whim I started looking around and, surprise surprise, found that I could actually afford a home.
The home I first wanted was unattainable, it turned out it was a cash only sale and that no bank would finance. The second one, was in the middle of town- a split-level, that was nifty, but it needed a new furnace and ceiling in the kitchen, among other things. The furnace and ceiling before it could even be closed on. The third was in Santa Clara, AMAZING views, but the back wall around the yard was falling down the hill, and the shaker shingle roof needed replacing, again before the loan would close. I bid on it though, never did hear back. So the 4th home came along.
My roomie Jared referred to it as jailhouse architecture. So I think I'll call it "the pen" but it had qualities I really liked, size for one, a garage, and a decent lot. I also feel it has a ton of potential. Not totally thrilled that it's in Ivins, but not a big deal.
So I have started work on it (oh, I put in an offer and it was accepted and I closed on the home, obviously. The bank came down a whopping $400 on the price, oooo, they did provide closing costs though, so... I let that go.) Before I could close on the home I had to by a new window that some little vandal broke, and I also had to fix the water heater. Not too bad, couple hundred bones later, I have a house. And a mortgage. YIKES!
(click images to embiggen ;o) )


A couple of the things I didn't like were the fireplace, and the kitchen cabinets. I had plans for both of these, so I am working diligently on them. We have 30 days before we move in so I have time.
About the kitchen cabinets, you can't see it so much in the photos, but they are covered in adhesive left behind from clear packing tape. You can see it on the dishwasher and if you click the picture you can see it on the drawers, they are dirty strips about 3 inches wide that run side to side. It's really noticeable on the third drawer down. I have tried every kind of solvent I can think of to try and strip this shit off. But it comes down to elbow grease, goo-gone and a metal scraper. Lame. I have no idea what these people were doing with all the tape. I can only think it's a white-trash attempt at child-proofing, it only appears on the lower cabinets and drawers, nothing on the uppers.


Then the fireplace. This one is a little odd. It's not BAD looking, it's just a bit westerny, and the insert is rusted for days. The thing is the water heater is upstairs and when they winterized the home they just opened the drain and let the water go. straight. down. the. chimney. onto the insert, well done morons. You can pretty much guess where the water heater is by looking at the white stains on the brick. Where they start is just below the water heater (FYI it's lime leaching out of the grout between the bricks). That stain is rough to clean as well, and pretty much sticks around. I don't like the wood or the color of the bricks anyway, so I am covering the wood and painting the brick out. In a few years I plan on putting on a stack-stone veneer. (It is so strange to use that sentence, in a few years. wow. hello commitment. *big eyes*)

So that's where we're at so far folks. I will post more as I complete projects. woo hoo, so excited.

Wiley, brilliant ladies. You gotta hand it to them.
As a man, I can never empirically observe the phenomenon of "cramping, bloating, and general malaise" brought on by the "monthly visitor". As such I propose that perhaps this "torture" doesn't actually exist. hmmm
Let's face it, Woman often receives the brunt of the blame when it comes to Man's supposed fall in the original Garden. But please, I don't think she shoved that apple (or whatever it was) down the dude's throat. Something tells me it was akin to him saying, "bitch, I'm hungry, get me something to eat." Whereupon she came back with, "shove this in your mouth you lazy ass." Along with plenty of, "I don't care what that booming voice in the clouds tells you I was not put on this earth to service your every whim. Now get off your butt and help me clean this place. Psh leaving your banana peels and crap every where, garden of Eden my ass, it's more of a pigsty than anything else..."
Obviously, early woman needed a break once in a while. And man was she smart. She didn't ask for too much, just a couple of days each month. So I think she gathered all her little girls and let them know, "you know what, men are pigs, always have been. So, we need to take matters in our own hands. We can't vote, we can't own property, shit, we are property in their minds, so we need to come up with something that allows us some much needed 'me time'. Now let's make it really icky for them so they don't even want to think about it. Suggestions?"
"How about our breasts get sore and they need to not be touched?"
"Hmm. Not bad, Anyone else?"
"O ooo, I know my man hates stomach aches, let's have one of those!"
"Oh, yes that's good, but let's make it waaaayyyy worse than anything they have ever experienced. Next."
"My man gets really grossed out when I discuss my uterus sloughing its lining."
"Perfect, you are exactly right! Let's round all these things up and from now on that all happens for 3-4 days each month. For those of us that are really good at it, I bet we could parlay that into at least a day off or two in the future when we finally get the right to have our own jobs. It's brilliant, we don't even need to prove how much pain there is since there is no way to actually measure pain beyond personal anecdotes."
Ok, so maybe that's not how it all went down, but if it did, that is bloody brilliant. Men need something like that!
I have no problem with women, hell I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for one. But since I am "a gay" I don't have to worry about my girl cutting me off for voicing my doubts of the veracity of her claim of misery once a month.
But damnit, I would like to be able to simply call into work some day and just say, "I can't come in, I'm having *hushed tones* male problems." The person on the other end will nod sympathetically and tell me, "ok, I'll let them know, thanks for calling in." No questions asked, because it would be universal and accepted.
What can us guys use as a justifiable excuse... hmmm....
I know, Morning Stiffness!
This happens to all guys alllll the time and we all know what a pain it can be. The beauty of this ailment is that it would even work for small boys because we've all gone through the whole, "mommy my pee-pee huuurrrrtttsss." So there is a basis in history for this argument. Any woman with a boy-child has heard the complaint, and like us and menstruation, she has no idea HOW much it hurts. I say we play it up. (just like they may or may not be playing up theirs)
"You ladies have no idea how bad this is. I can't peeee in the morning, do you know what that's like? And you laugh at me as I try to position myself in poses that make yoga look tame to try and aim that thing to the bowl. It's murder, I just can't go into work today."
Another plus for this "issue" is that while they can only really use it once a month (though I am pretty sure I have noticed some apparently going through their period at least 2-3 times a month) we could actually use ours pretty much every day!
And since they have a nifty name for their issue using a punctuation mark, we, being men and more dramatic I say we use the exclamation point! (thank you Gary for the idea)
"Oh god, I can't go to work today, I woke up with my exclamation point. sigghhhhhhhh" It's also quite descriptive when you think about it.
So tell me boys, what do you think? Does this have potential? If you think so, we have to get on this right away so that it can get into our gender memory. This type of thing has to be handed down from father to son, just as the period and all its woes are from mother to daughter.
Can we do this? In the words of the current president, "yes, we can!" oo look an exclamation point!