In this lovely area (southern Utah) we can rest assured that we will be kept abreast (I wrote breast- I'd giggle now if I were straight, but I'm not but those of you who are and are reading this, you may take this moment to grin and visualize to your heart's content) of what is allegedly news and information by the most splendid newspaper titled the Daily Spectrum. At least it was, maybe it no longer uses that appellation hmm, I may have to check but I don't care. Anyway, why should I if these idiots can't create a coherent sentence?
I post for your consideration the following article that appeared in a recent paper- online version at least."ST. GEORGE - Two people died in a small plane crash at about 4 a.m. Saturday in the northeast corner of Washington County, said Stephanie Hayden, public information specialist for the Washington County Sheriff's Office.
The crash ignited a small brush fire, according to a press release.
The aircraft landed in a remote area.
No structures were threatened or damaged by the fire.
The Color Country Fire agency was sent to the scene to extinguish the fire, according to the press release.
The Washington County Sher-iff's Office Search and Rescue team arrived on scene at 11 a.m. after the Civil Air Patrol notified the agency of the crash.
The brush fire slowed search and rescue efforts, Hayden said.
The plane crashed one mile from the Kane County line and three miles from the Iron County line, according to the press release.
The Washington County Sher-iff's Office planned to notify the victims' families of the crash by early today, Hayden said.
A full report with more information about the crash may not be available to the public before Monday, Hayden said."
SERIOUSLY?
WTF is this shit?
Now I do have a minor in creative writing but I will admit that I am by no means a journalist or accomplished writer (I have been published but unless you like hot-guy on guy action I wouldn't recommend reading it- hey, what can I say, I was young and needed the money) but I have taken the liberty of editing this piece of crap passed off as journalism and the reporting of a tragic event. I have not added anything substantial but I have removed a whole lot of repetition and made it, IMHO much easier and more interesting to read. and now for your consideration:
"ST. GEORGE - Two people died in a small plane crash at about 4 a.m. Saturday in the northeast corner of Washington County, said Stephanie Hayden, public information specialist for the Washington County Sheriff's Office.
According to the press release, the crash was in a remote area,one mile from the Kane County line and three miles from the Iron County line. The Washington County Sheriff's Office Search and Rescue team arrived on scene at 11 a.m. after the Civil Air Patrol notified the agency of the crash.
The crash ignited a small brush fire,and though no structures were threatened or damaged by the fire it did slow search and rescue efforts and the Color Country Fire agency was sent to the scene to extinguish the fire, according to the press release.
The Washington County Sheriff's Office planned to notify the victims' families of the crash by early today, though a full report with more information about the crash may not be available to the public before Monday, Hayden said."
There you have it. My version of how it should have been printed.
I wouldn't bother wasting my time on such a pursuit if it wasn't for the fact that this "newspaper" didn't suck so damn bad. This is not the first article written in such a fragmentary way. I found 3 others in this edition alone. Just lame.
Oh well, what can ya do?
I guess they could have just written, "plane crashed, in rural bumblefuck Utah, totally sucked, fire started and put out, eventually we might know the whole story but first we gotta break this tragic news to the fam. peace out bitches."
But even that is more concise than what they did write.
asses.
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